Take a bite....

Courtesy of Byrd Dan in Pensacola...in case you need to hire someone for a bachelorette party...or in case you're hungry???

A True Jack of All Trades....

This one is courtesy of Kelly N. in Greenville, Mississippi. Homeboy does some serious multi-tasking.

High Gas Prices Got You Down?

Come on over to this amazing creation: A combination gas station and petting zoo. All of the animals are conveniently adjacent to the gas station. As you can see, the horse, cow, goats, and  Canadian Geese all live together in a delightful gated area, under the soothing light of the BP sign. Not pictured: llama, ram, and many more white geese. 

Best Street Ever!

The picture is a little small, but on this street in rural Georgia, you can get everything you may need: Poultry Coops, $6 Rabies Shots, Livestock, and an Auction House for all of your other needs. Oh, and I'm sure there are at least 4 churches and 2 Dollar Generals nearby!

Love for the Odyssey Lounge

YES. This has long been one of my favorite landmarks on I-20 between Atlanta and the 'Ham, located one exit west of the Talladega Superspeedway.

What the HELL is it? Is it a dance club? A shady dive bar? It appears abandoned, but I have often seen cars parked outside. A cover location for a remote FBI weapons storage unit? Perhaps it's an underground gambling parlor for NASCAR enthusiasts. Stay tuned...I intend to find out...

You're three months early, dear...

I've noticed that in some small Southern towns people tend to act like every day is the 4th of July.

Perhaps the people of Chelsea, AL should purchase a calendar.

But all the cool, scrunchie-wearing kids are doing it....

Very wise words conveyed by an anti-smoking sign posted outside Center Street Middle School in Birmingham, AL. I really, REALLY wish I'd had her outfit for the 90's-themed party. Although LS did have the denim vest :) The mismatched earrings are key.

What you doin'? Nuthin...chillin' at the Holidae Inn...

The Holiday Inn - Birmingham Airport did not disappoint! The surprising amount of equipment, flat screen TVs, and a water cooler ALMOST made up for the terrifying sketchiness of the neighborhood in which the hotel is located (and the poor quality of the hotel restaurant, Iron City Steakhouse). I give this fitness room FOUR big stars!

If only Snoop Dogg, with his delightful relaxed curls and bell-boy uniform, had been singing in the hallways...I wish I had been hangin' with Chingy and Luda at the Holidae Inn.

Awwwww

This gem is courtesy of Byrd Dan in Pensacola. Apparently baby-shaking is a big problem in the Redneck Riviera.

So is the availability of wife-beaters/muscle-ts.



I had a lovely trip to southern Alabama (about an hour from Baby Shaker Territory) last month, and my favorite part of the trip involved my hotel: the Best Western Atmore. It is usually terrifying and horrible (the hallways alternately smell like vomit and old salad dressing), but on this occasion I was given a flashlight when I checked in. Because the power was turned off all night. Since it is the only hotel within an hour of my destination, I had no choice but to suffer through the chilly night. You bet I took that flashlight with me when I left.

No fitness room to evaluate, so negative 10 stars.

Socks & Hookers

If anyone needs socks, let me know before my next trip up to Huntsville. Fort Payne is also the home of the Alabama Fan Club Headquarters and Museum, so put in your requests for Dixieland Delight-related merchandise.

And home to these two lovely ladies: http://www.dlisted.com/node/15348.

31-65 Club 4 Life

Yesssss I know where I'm throwing my birthday party next year. So conveniently located halfway between Birmingham and Montgomery! 31 and 65 are two of my favorite highways!

LaQuinta Riverchase Parkway earns * * *

A

Out of five possible stars, the fitness center at LaQuinta Riverchase Parkway outside the Magic City scored three big ones...not too shabby. However, upon closer inspection of the posted safety rules, I now understand why I received a nasty look or two when I stumbled onto the treadmill in my soggy bikini while guzzling Colt 45.


Let's take a gander at exhibit A: Woah, Nelly. Do I count THREE pieces of cardio equipment? Practically unheard of! And wait...they are all functional? AND there is a remote for the television mounted high on the wall? I don't need Shaq to help me change the channel? Good work LaQuinta, good work.

Come see what she couldn't...

Not at all offensive.