Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Awwwww

This gem is courtesy of Byrd Dan in Pensacola. Apparently baby-shaking is a big problem in the Redneck Riviera.

So is the availability of wife-beaters/muscle-ts.



I had a lovely trip to southern Alabama (about an hour from Baby Shaker Territory) last month, and my favorite part of the trip involved my hotel: the Best Western Atmore. It is usually terrifying and horrible (the hallways alternately smell like vomit and old salad dressing), but on this occasion I was given a flashlight when I checked in. Because the power was turned off all night. Since it is the only hotel within an hour of my destination, I had no choice but to suffer through the chilly night. You bet I took that flashlight with me when I left.

No fitness room to evaluate, so negative 10 stars.

Socks & Hookers

If anyone needs socks, let me know before my next trip up to Huntsville. Fort Payne is also the home of the Alabama Fan Club Headquarters and Museum, so put in your requests for Dixieland Delight-related merchandise.

And home to these two lovely ladies: http://www.dlisted.com/node/15348.

31-65 Club 4 Life

Yesssss I know where I'm throwing my birthday party next year. So conveniently located halfway between Birmingham and Montgomery! 31 and 65 are two of my favorite highways!

LaQuinta Riverchase Parkway earns * * *

A

Out of five possible stars, the fitness center at LaQuinta Riverchase Parkway outside the Magic City scored three big ones...not too shabby. However, upon closer inspection of the posted safety rules, I now understand why I received a nasty look or two when I stumbled onto the treadmill in my soggy bikini while guzzling Colt 45.


Let's take a gander at exhibit A: Woah, Nelly. Do I count THREE pieces of cardio equipment? Practically unheard of! And wait...they are all functional? AND there is a remote for the television mounted high on the wall? I don't need Shaq to help me change the channel? Good work LaQuinta, good work.

Monday, March 2, 2009