You're three months early, dear...

I've noticed that in some small Southern towns people tend to act like every day is the 4th of July.

Perhaps the people of Chelsea, AL should purchase a calendar.

But all the cool, scrunchie-wearing kids are doing it....

Very wise words conveyed by an anti-smoking sign posted outside Center Street Middle School in Birmingham, AL. I really, REALLY wish I'd had her outfit for the 90's-themed party. Although LS did have the denim vest :) The mismatched earrings are key.

What you doin'? Nuthin...chillin' at the Holidae Inn...

The Holiday Inn - Birmingham Airport did not disappoint! The surprising amount of equipment, flat screen TVs, and a water cooler ALMOST made up for the terrifying sketchiness of the neighborhood in which the hotel is located (and the poor quality of the hotel restaurant, Iron City Steakhouse). I give this fitness room FOUR big stars!

If only Snoop Dogg, with his delightful relaxed curls and bell-boy uniform, had been singing in the hallways...I wish I had been hangin' with Chingy and Luda at the Holidae Inn.

Socks & Hookers

If anyone needs socks, let me know before my next trip up to Huntsville. Fort Payne is also the home of the Alabama Fan Club Headquarters and Museum, so put in your requests for Dixieland Delight-related merchandise.

And home to these two lovely ladies: http://www.dlisted.com/node/15348.

31-65 Club 4 Life

Yesssss I know where I'm throwing my birthday party next year. So conveniently located halfway between Birmingham and Montgomery! 31 and 65 are two of my favorite highways!

LaQuinta Riverchase Parkway earns * * *

A

Out of five possible stars, the fitness center at LaQuinta Riverchase Parkway outside the Magic City scored three big ones...not too shabby. However, upon closer inspection of the posted safety rules, I now understand why I received a nasty look or two when I stumbled onto the treadmill in my soggy bikini while guzzling Colt 45.


Let's take a gander at exhibit A: Woah, Nelly. Do I count THREE pieces of cardio equipment? Practically unheard of! And wait...they are all functional? AND there is a remote for the television mounted high on the wall? I don't need Shaq to help me change the channel? Good work LaQuinta, good work.

Come see what she couldn't...

Not at all offensive.